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How Replacing This One Word in Your Vocabulary Will Decrease Your Holiday Stress

For some reason grumbling because of the things we should be doing during the holidays and cussing while we’re making cookies doesn’t seem to align with “the most wonderful time of the year” feel.

I’m hearing a lot of these two words, “I should…” especially in regards to tasks and activities involving the holiday and New Year.   These words combined with a groan or an exasperated look definitely don’t say “Merry Christmas!”

What if we replaced the word “should” with the word “could” and then follow that up with a bit of introspection as to the task or activity?

Let’s talk about it…

Give it a try!  Write down the top 2-3 things that are causing you stress because you “should” be doing them.  Now, recite the task out loud, but use the word “could” with it.  Do you feel the burden lift?

First of all just replacing the word should with could gives you a sense of freedom.  Try it out.  Look at your to-do list and say it out loud with the new wording.

Ask yourself these questions?
What is the purpose of the task/activity?

What would happen if I didn’t do the said task/activity?

Could I replace the task/activity with something less stressful?

This alone takes a load off.

Let’s remember that our well-being and the relationships with those we love are more important than most of the “shoulds” we place on ourselves.

Have a great weekend!

Much love,

Jill xx

P.S.  Here’s the link to the blog I wrote on the 5 Love Languages.  Before you run out and buy a gift for someone, make sure you understand their love language.

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Your Daily Dose of Intentional Living — Week 4 Wrap Up

Want to live a more fulfilling and intentional life?  Sometimes we just need some reminders, fresh inspiration, and someone who’s been there and desires the same thing.

This is my 4th week of broadcasting Your Daily Dose of Intentional Living LIVE this month and I’ve compiled all the videos right here in one place for you.  My goal is to provide helpful and inspirational content and provide simple steps to be more intentional with our time and efforts.

MONDAY MOTIVATION video:

The holidays can be a hard time for many people.  Learn how you can be a blessing to someone through a simple gesture that may take less than 5 seconds, but will leave a lasting impression.

TUESDAY TIP video:

Creating a TOP 3 list is a productivity/time management tip that will help you to stay uber-focused on the most meaningful and important goals and projects in your life.  In this video, I discuss what goes on (and doesn’t go on) the list and the best time of day to create the list.

WEDNESDAY’S WORD video:

This week’s word is GRATITUDE.  Learn the 5 areas of your life that will benefit from a daily practice of gratitude.  I also share 3 suggestions on how to actually make the practice daily.

THROWBACK THURSDAY:

I decided not to do a video on Thursday (Thanksgiving) and instead share this photo as my “Throwback”.  My cousin (the tall guy in the back) and I have not seen each other in 39 years!!  It was great to reconnect with family from Arkansas and Georgia!

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FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY video:

In this video I share 3 reasons why being part of a cookbook club will benefit your relationships.  I also give you tips on how to start one!  I’m going to host my first one in the first quarter of 2017.  How about you?  Will you host one, too?

Friends, if you know of someone who might find value in what I’ve shared in these videos, don’t be shy–share away!

Did you miss the wrap-up video posts from previous weeks?
Click here to watch week 1 videos.
Click here to watch week 2 videos.
Click here to watch week 3 videos.

Thanks for watching, friends!  I truly appreciate you spending time with me here today.

With love,

Jill xx

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Your Daily Dose of Intentional Living – Week 3 Wrap Up

Want to live a more fulfilling and intentional life?  Sometimes we just need some reminders, fresh inspiration, and someone who’s been there and desires the same thing.

This is my 3rd week of broadcasting Your Daily Dose of Intentional Living LIVE this month and I’ve compiled all the videos right here in one place for you.  My goal is to provide helpful and inspirational content and provide simple steps to be more intentional with our time and efforts.

MONDAY MOTIVATION video:
Ever feel like you’re completed overwhelmed, OVER IT, or just ready to have a little less stress in your life?  I share two simple exercises that will help you to create a clean slate every day.  I’d love to hear how these work for you!


TUESDAY TIP video:

In this episode, I discuss ways to overcome holiday stress and drama that inevitably happens each year, and also share some good tips to overcome the winter blues.

Mentioned in this video:
Click here to find the fun and free printable conversation starters.  I’d love to hear back from you how smooth and fun your holiday table conversations go after using these!


WEDNESDAY’S WORD video:

Wednesday word was DISCIPLINE.  If you’re lacking discipline in an area of your life that you really want to change, this is the video for you!  I share five steps that will help you achieve the discipline you need to make the progress you want.


THROWBACK THURSDAY video:

Today were throwing back to the creator of the model T — Henry Ford. Let’s see what Henry can teach us about creating a growth mindset.

Mentioned in this video:
Mindset by Carol Dweck


FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY video:

Learn a super effective way to be a better friend.

Mentioned in this video:
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
My article from a few years ago on The 5 Love Languages.


Friends, if you know of someone who might find value in what I’ve shared in these videos, don’t be shy–share away!

Did you miss the wrap-up video posts from previous weeks?
Click here to watch week 1 videos.
Click here to watch week 2 videos.

Here’s to being kind human beings.

Much love,

Jill xx

Disclosure: Some of the links (for the books on Amazon) in this post are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

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Facebook LIVE Week 2 Wrap-Up

Here’s a wrap-up from this week’s Facebook LIVE series: Your Daily Dose of Intentional Living.  If you weren’t able to catch my broadcasts live or later, here they are!

Click here to download your Intention Journal worksheet.  Use this journal to make notes and reminders of helpful ways to pracitce intention in your life.

Monday Motivation

See how taking advice from your “objective self” can be some of the best advice you receive.  Watch and let me know if you’ve ever used this technique.

Tuesday Tip

For this week’s tip, I share a time management tip that, should you implement, will most likely save you at least an hour or even two per day.  No kidding!

Wednesday Word

Today’s word is Community.  Now, more than ever, our communities, our nation need more involvement than before.  I’ve posed three questions for us all to consider in an effort to transform division into action in our communities.  Watch and let me know your thoughts.

Throwback Thursday

We’re stepping up to bat for some wisdom from the one and only, Yogi Berra.  One of Yogi’s famous quotes has taught me a thing or two about the importance of observing and watching.  Watch this video and see if the Yogi-ism mentioned resonates with you, too.

Friendship Friday

Talking about a way to categorize relationships in order to keep a good life-balance, maintain healthy relationships, and rid yourself of the toxic people in your life.  Warning: Don’t confuse this exercise with elf on the shelf!

Friends, if you know of someone who might find value in what I’ve shared in these videos, don’t be shy–share away!

Did you miss the wrap-up from last week?  Click here to watch those videos.

Here’s to being kind human beings.

Much love,

Jill xx

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Facebook LIVE Week 1 Wrap-Up

Your Daily Dose of Intentional Living series went LIVE on Facebook this week.  Each morning at 7 a.m. E.T. (don’t worry, you can watch later, too), I go LIVE and spend 5-10 minutes sharing something that you can implement immediately or at least ponder and use in your efforts to living an intentional life.

Click here to download your free Intention Journal page and follow along each day recording your own thoughts and intentions throughout the week.

Day 1 – Tuesday TIP

I share Stephen Covey’s Time Management Matrix.  It’s all about choosing the Important over the Urgent, my friends!
Side note– While I love Stephen Covey’s Matrix, this was my first LIVE video, I was nervous as heck, and the example of the matrix I was sharing was apparently backwards on the screen–so you might want to skip down to Wednesday’s WORD–this resonated with a lot of people, and I hope it will with you, too.

Click here to learn more about Stephen Covey’s Time Management Matrix.

Books mentioned on Tuesday TIP video:
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
First Things First by Stephen Covey

Day 2 – Wednesday’s Word

Our word this week was “Acceptance”.  Whether it be accepting where you are in your life right now, the betrayal of a friend, or the death of a loved one, we all know how tough this step can be.  But, friends, it’s a critical one.  Please watch this video and see where you might need to allow acceptance into your life in order to heal your soul.

Day 3 – Throwback Thursday

Today we learn some great wisdom on intentional living from Helen Keller and Alexander Graham Bell.  Wait until you hear about the connection between these two!

Books mentioned on Tuesday TIP video:

The Story of My Life by Helen Keller

Day 4 – Friendship Friday

Who are the five people you spend the most time with?  Do you they lift you up or bring you down?  Today, I’m sharing some wisdom from Jim Rohn ont the importance of surrounding ourselves with people we respect, are encouraged by, help us to make good decisions, and be the best version of ourselves.

Join me over on Facebook for the LIVE for the “Your Daily Dose of Intentional Living” series that I’ll be filming through the entire month of November.

Click here to watch Week 2 videos.

Here’s to loving your intentional life!

Jill xx

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Your Daily Dose of Intentional Living

Hi, friend.  I’m so glad you’re here!

Watch my video message as I share a bit on my recent blog break and some fun news for the month of November!

Click here to head over to my Facebook business page.

Facebook LIVE “Your Daily Dose of Intentional Living” starts on Tuesday November 1, 2016.
Monday – Friday at 7 a.m. ET.

I’ll still be posting here on Saturdays with the week’s wrap-up, but be sure to watch the videos each day to make the most of your efforts in living an intentional life.  (NOTE: Not available at 7 a.m. ET?  You can watch the video at any time after the LIVE broadcast, too.)

Click here to download your free Intention Journal page and follow along each day recording your own thoughts and intentions for the day.

See you on Tuesday!

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Blog Hiatus Announcement

Hi, sweet friends.  I have something to tell you today and I’m guessing some of you will be able to relate.  I’ll explain in the video why I opted for a video message today instead of my typical written format.

Here’s to taking time to:

Unplug.
Rest and recharge.
Reflect.
Be still.
Listen.
Write privately.
Make room for new things.

Y’all are the best!  Thank you for listening and understanding.

Jill xx

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Count Your (tiny) Blessings

I’ve heard from many of you after last week’s Tiny Habits post, that you’re excited and hopeful in creating your own Tiny Habits. Whether it’s a new habit we’re trying to master or a large project that looms before us, the act of breaking things down into small, manageable chunks makes it seem doable and even fun.  This got me thinking about other powerful “tiny” things.  Namely…

Tiny blessings. 

Have you noticed that the big, headline-worthy, miracle-sized blessings get all the attention?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for big blessings and they should be celebrated, but in the grand scheme of things, if we take note and give thanks for the daily tiny blessings in our lives, we will experience more gratitude and joy in our lives. 

We all experience these tiny blessings, but because of their wee size, they may get buried in the day-to-day stresses, activities, and routine.  If you don’t notice them, you might forget to give thanks for them, or to share one as an encouragement to someone else, or to acknowledge their faithful presence in your life.

Tiny blessings should not be overlooked.  It’s time to shine the spotlight on them!

Here are three simple ways to ensure you don’t miss out on the tiny blessings that come your way:

Use The Correct Lens: I recently spent the day with a photographer and was amazed at what he could capture just by switching out his lens: zooming in to capture detail that would easily be overlooked by the normal “roving” eye or using a widele lens that expanded his view, capturing detail in the periphery that might otherwise be missed.  It’s the same with us, we need to listen to our instincts and be present in the moment enough to realize when it’s time to switch out our lens.  Don’t get so caught up in the big picture or so bogged down in the minutia that you miss out on tiny blessings all around you.

Remember Your History: Every single one of us has tiny blessings dotted across the canvas of our lives.  Sometimes those small dots become blurry and distant.  It’s easy to forget our past blessings, but you don’t have to.  Keeping a record of your tiny blessings is a great way.  I do this in my gratitude journal, when nothing is too small.  When you get in a rut or go through a difficult time, it’s very encouraging to pull out the physical reminders of your blessings to give you hope and keep you going.

Be a Tiny Blessing Bless-er:  I’m sure you’ve heard the Bible verse, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”  I think Jesus was on to something here!  I’ve seen this firsthand to be true and I bet you have, too.  Whether it’s a kind word, gesture, or other loving act, being a blessing to someone else almost always has a way of leaving you feeling like you’ve been more blessed than the bless-ee.

Friends, don’t let the circumstances of life let the tiny blessing spottings disappear.  Keep your eyes and heart open and be prepared to be blessed!

Here’s to counting your (tiny) blessings!

Jill xx

 

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How To Get Big Results With Tiny Habits

Over the last couple months, I’ve found myself saying one of these types of sentences every Sunday evening (comes out as a very convincing self-pep-talk, by the way): “OK! Tomorrow, I will get back to exercising regularly;”  Or, “Tomorrow, I will get started on my new writing routine.  It’s gonna be amazing!”  Or, “Next weekend, I will start organizing the heaps of ‘very important’ stuff (that I haven’t found a need for in the last 15 years!) in the basement.”

Come Monday, the intentions are there, but lazy human nature kicks in and getting back to that exercise, writing, or de-cluttering plan gets sucked up by “quickly” checking Facebook or really just finding any random rabbit hole to run down.

Can you relate?

Sticking to good habits can be surprisingly difficult.  You’d think the benefits and transformation that come from practicing good habits would be incentive enough for us to never fall off the wagon.

The biggest habit-busting culprit for me is deviating from my normal routine.  For example, if I go on vacation, all good habit bets are off.  My idea of vacation is to unplug and not have anything hindering me from rest and relaxation.  There will be no schedules to tie me down!  Even if I veer from my routine for just a day or two, it sets me back.  I still haven’t convinced myself that I should stick to my normal routine while on vacation, but just realizing this tendency to abandon beneficial habits can help when you get home.  Admitting a problem is the first step in doing better, right?

Back in January, I came across an amazing method of creating and practicing habits: “Tiny Habits”.  The brain behind the “Tiny Habits” methodology, B.J. Fogg, is a behavior scientist and teacher at Stanford University.

Here’s how B.J. describes a Tiny Habit:

As I see it, a “Tiny Habit” is a behavior —

  • you do at least once a day
  • that takes you less than 30 seconds
  • that requires little effort

B.J. suggests you outline your tiny habit goal like this:

“After (or before) I {insert existing habit}, I will {insert new tiny habit}.”
Example:  “After I turn on the evening news, I will get on my exercise bike and begin pedaling.”

The genius of his habit-creating system is that you are anchoring a very simple and tiny new habit to an existing habit.  For example, I chose something I do every day — my existing habit of taking a shower — and anchored it to one of my new tiny habits (doing 10 push-ups).  Several months later, I’m here to testify that this tiny habit has stuck.  NOTE: In the first couple weeks, there would be days where I’d be in the shower and realize I’d forgotten to do my push-ups.  To help with this, I wrote myself a note and stuck it to my mirror.  As an additional note/disclaimer….I do girl push-ups.  : )

The first three tiny habits I initially set out to create were:

  • Before I shower, I will do 10 push-ups
  • After I begin to brew coffee, I will drink one glass of water.
  • Before I get out of bed each morning, I will name three things I am grateful for.

Since it’s been a while and I’ve developed these tiny habits into regular habits, I’m working on a new tiny habit: “After I walk the dogs, I will do my 7-Minute Workout app routine.”  Since I’m already in casual clothes and maybe even sweaty, why not keep up the momentum of exercise, right?

Something Tiny Habits creator B.J. Fogg stresses in one’s efforts to create tiny habits, is to keep it very simple.  Here are a few tiny habit examples he shares on his blog:

“After I start the dishwasher, I will read one sentence from a book.”

“After I walk in my door from work, I will get out my workout clothes.”

“After I sit down on the train, I will open my sketch notebook.”

“After I hear any phone ring, I will exhale and relax for 2 seconds.”

You may be wondering what the point is to “read one sentence from a book” or just “open a sketch notebook”.  The mindset behind this is that if you take the first tiny little step, chances are you’ll take the next, too.  Momentum generally builds upon one tiny little action.  Can you imagine getting your book out (after starting the dishwasher) and truly only reading one sentence??  Or getting your sketch book out on the train and only drawing one line??

I have a friend that also began implementing tiny habits and he created a list to help him see the variety of daily habits he could potentially anchor to and those which might trigger a new tiny habit.  In other words, he uses these regular activities to activate new tiny habits to help him reach his goals.

Here’s his “trigger” or “anchor” list:

Around the house

  • Throw something away in trash
  • Throw something away in recycle
  • Feed Chloe (Jill note: this is his dog)
  • Let Chloe out
  • Go to the bathroom
  • Make coffee
  • Turn on TV
  • Turn off/on lights
  • Turn on/off faucets
  • Wash hands
  • Change diapers (Jill note: he and his wife have two adorable twin girls!)

Getting ready for day/winding down

  • Shower
  • Wake up
  • Put on clothes
  • Change clothes for bed
  • Put in/take out contacts
  • Turn on shower
  • Towel off after shower

Work related

  • Get in car to go to work
  • Get in car to go home
  • Walk into work
  • Turn on work computer

Food related

  • Eat breakfast
  • Eat lunch
  • Eat dinner

An example of how he uses the above actions to create benefiting habits — before stepping into the shower, he has committed himself to 3 push-ups (at least).

So, here’s my challenge for you today: Decide on 3 tiny habits that you can begin to practice today.  It might be helpful to create your own habit trigger/anchor list like my friend did to help you see the bountiful opportunities you, too, have on any given day.

Remember, the key is to keep it super simple and trust in the process.

If you’re willing, I’d love to hear what tiny habits you’re going to implement into your daily routine.  Let me know in the comment section below.

You can do this!!

Jill xx

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The Need to Lead With Compassion

Have you ever made a mistake and were treated as if you’d just committed the biggest sin in the world?

Have you ever had your heart broken?

Have you ever suffered a horrific loss?

Have you ever felt so depressed you didn’t want to get out of bed?

Have you ever experienced anxiety?

Have you ever been homesick?

Have you ever prayed for something for a long time and realized the prayer might not be answered in the way you like?

Have you ever been stabbed in the back by someone you trusted?

Have you ever sat by the bedside of a dying loved one that is being taken too soon?

Have you ever gone through a divorce?

Have you ever said something unkind to someone and later felt disgusted with yourself and like a total jerk?

Have you ever had a huge fight with your spouse or friend, but had to go on with your day with a smile on your face anyway?

Have you ever had to tell an aging parent that you’re going to need to move them in to a nursing home?

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship and don’t see a way out?

Have you ever struggled with major self-doubt or even self-loathing?

Have you ever received news of something growing in your body that threatens to take your life?

Have you ever struggled with changing a bad habit, but your attempts are fruitless?

Have you ever felt miserably alone in a crowded world?

Friends, we don’t know what people are going through in their personal lives.  There are all kinds of opportunities in this world for pain, heartache, and suffering.  More than likely, you’ve been there.  I’ve been there, too.

We’ve all experienced a rude checker at the grocery store, a less than friendly customer service rep after being on hold for 27 minutes, an aggressive driver on the road, or someone who snaps at us for no reason.  This could just be a clueless person with poor manners, but more than likely, it’s someone going through a difficult time and their burden is manifesting itself in ugly ways.

Can you imagine If everyone walked around with a news-type ticker detailing what turmoil or pain was going on under the surface?  I think we’d be shocked at what some are shouldering at any given moment.

Some people hide pain well, managing to keep a smile on their face.  However, If you were to really look in their eyes, you would see their smile is only on the surface.  Others may act rude, short-tempered, or angry.  This behavior, while not a good thing, is often caused by fear, powerlessness, rejection, guilt, and vulnerability.

While we can’t change the fact that pain and suffering will occur, we can make a conscious decision on how we conduct ourselves with those we come in contact with in-person, over the phone, or online.

Let’s open our hearts.  Let’s extend grace.  Let’s think before we speak and act.  Let’s listen.  Let’s look in each others eyes.  Let’s open our arms.  Let’s forgive.  Let’s be kind to one another.

Let’s lead with compassion.

With love,

Jill xx