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3 Secrets to Managing Your Expectations

What if I told you that you could cut back on frustration, disappointment, and preserve your relationships, all in 3 simple steps?

OK, that may have sounded a bit like an infomercial!  JUST 3 SIMPLE STEPS for $19.99!! Order now while supplies last!! (Best if read in your best late-night infomercial voice.)

But seriously…who wants to feel these negative emotions and threaten our most precious relationships?

The key is to managing your expectations.

Think about all the life events in which we either don’t know what to expect or we have a very clear expectation, but for one reason or another, that expectation is dismantled when #LIFEHAPPENS.

What sort of expectations do you have around the circumstances of your life?  There’s no one way to handle a newly emptied nest, a divorce, a scary diagnosis, a rebellious child, a new job, losing a job, a difficult relationship, or any other life-transition, but you can sure hedge your bets for a smoother experience if you learn to manage your expectations.

These 3 steps will help…

I’d love to hear from you.  In the comments below, tell me which of these steps is the most difficult for you.  The 2nd and 3rd have been my main stumbling blocks, but you know what? Just reminding ourselves of steps like these are how we get back on track.

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here today.

Here’s to successfully managing our expectations in an effort to live our best lives!

Jill xx

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What This World Needs: More Human Connection

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin or his background or his religion.  People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love.  For love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” Nelson Mandela

What can I do??

Not sure what to do with all the awful events that are happening around the world?

I’ve heard people say that in the grand scheme they don’t think they can really make a difference.  This is only true if you think making a change, in even one single person’s life, doesn’t mean anything.  You may never know the larger ripple effect that could take place, but that’s not yours to worry about.

Most of us can look back and see how someone did something kind or supportive, even a small gesture, that made a big impact in our lives. On the other hand, you may look back and remember a time where you were lonely and confused, and could have used a kind word or support, but it never came.

All of us, including the white supremacist I mention in today’s video are craving connection.  That human connection can come from a place of love and goodness, or from the opposite.  Not acting at all, is a decision, too.

In today’s video I’m sharing 8 ideas that each of us can immediately become official agents-of-change.

Thank you for being a loving force in this world.

With love,

Jill xx

P.S. Please share.  In times of turmoil people can become overwhelmed and allow fear to take over, causing inaction.  By you sharing this post, you provide some simple solutions that may help get them out of that place of inaction.

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How To Get Into The Flow State

“Most enjoyable activities are not natural; they demand an effort that initially one is reluctant to make. But once the interaction starts to provide feedback to the person’s skills, it usually begins to be intrinsically rewarding.” — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

You’ve probably heard about being in the state of FLOW, in the ZONE or in the GROOVE, but have you experienced it?

Flow is the state when you’re so completely absorbed, focused, and energized by an activity that you lose track of time.  Achieving a state of flow has shown to increase overall happiness and you get stuff that’s important to you done!   

Who can attain the state of flow?

Anyone… Artists, bakers, knitters, car mechanics, writers, athletes, gardeners, woodworkers, programmers, potters, calligraphers, entrepreneurs, dancers, singers — the list goes on and on.

Flow will, however, not automatically happen.  There are certain mindset and environmental conditions that must be met in order to achieve this optimal state.

In today’s video I go over these four conditions, and as a bonus, I’m share some thoughts from my flowy husband on how he has achieved flow during very mundane activity.

Let’s get you flowing!

  1. Pick an activity/project you love and that’s important to you.
  2. Make sure the activity is not too easy, and not too challenging.
  3. Set a clear intention/goal for your time doing the activity.  Something with immediate feedback is important.
  4. Make sure your environment is conducive to getting into the flow: remove physical and emotional distractions, play some music (or if it helps, make sure it’s completely quiet).

Here’s what Maya Angelou shares with us about her writing efforts: “I keep a dictionary, a Bible, a deck of cards and a bottle of sherry in the (hotel) room. I try to get there around 7, and I work until 2 in the afternoon.”  She’s doing something she loves (writing), she has a clear intention each day when she walks in the room, and she’s set up her environment to help her to be completely focused.  

How will try to achieve flow today?

I’d love to hear from you.  Tell me your plan.  I’d also be interested if you have achieved flow, how does it work for you?  What activity are you doing?  What advice would you give from your successes/failures?  Share in the comments below.

As always, thanks for spending some of your precious time with me, here, today.

Jill xx

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4 Simple Decluttering Strategies That Will Rock Your World

You’re not gonna want to miss this one, friends!  I’m sharing four decluttering strategies today that will rock your world.

You may have heard how outer-order brings about inner-calm, right?  Well…it’s true!  And the beauty of it is, it’s not that difficult.

Your environment often dictates how productive, efficient, comfortable, and happy you are.  The key is to declutter your space.

The idea of decluttering may bring to mind huge, overwhelming projects, like cleaning out the basement that has 87 years of collective family memories stored.  While decluttering the basement is a worthy goal, this isn’t what we’re going to focus on today. We’re going to look at decluttering strategies that won’t take more than 60 minutes max.  In fact, you’ll be able to achieve de-clutterment (I think I just made that word up!) in less time that it takes you to move one single item from one room to the next.

I’m a firm believer in baby steps, so let’s get started…

In today’s video, I share four simple decluttering strategies that will have you feeling that amazing inner-calm feeling in no time at all.

Well…I suggested four strategies…which will you implement today?  You know, at the very least, it’s only going to take a minute or two. Share with me your victorious decluttering wins in the comments below.

Much love,

Jill (The 5-Minute Taskmaster) xx

P.S.  Good tips like this should never be hoarded!  Please share my blog with your friends, family, and co-workers…you know they’ll thank you for it.  : )

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How to Create Good Habits and Break the Bad Ones

Habits….we’ve all got ’em — some bad and some good.  In fact, 40-45% of our daily behaviors are habits!

In today’s Intentional Living video, I discuss the ins and outs of habit formation: how to create good habits and break the bad ones.

Watch today’s video to:

  • Learn what the 3 parts of the habit loop are and why they’re key to understanding your own habits.
  • Find out how the Tiny Habit formation system will make creating new healthy habits super easy.
  • Discover the 2 most effective ways to break a bad habit.

After watching this video, a viewer sent me this snapshot of her plan to break a habit of binge watching Netflix at the end of her day.  I love how she gave herself alternative activities for how she wanted to spend her time!

She’s on the right track…you must set your intention before you’ll gain any momentum.

If you’d like more information on Tiny Habits, I wrote a blog post here.

If you’re looking for a good read on the topic of habits, I recommend the following:

Gretchen Rubin’s book, Better Than Before, was one of my all-time favorite reads.  It was easy reading and really helpful — this book is bound to transform your life. Click here to purchase on Amazon for less than $10!

If you search for information on habit formation, Charles Duhigg’s name will come up every time.  While I haven’t read his book, I’ve read lot’s of articles, blog posts and praise for his wisdom in the habit formation arena.  Click here to purchase on Amazon for under 10 bucks!

Here’s to creating new and healthy habits and chucking the bad ones.

Appreciate you spending time with me on the blog today!  Please share with friends, family, and co-workers.

Jill xx

Disclosure: Please note that the book links above are affiliate links, and at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you decide to make a purchase.

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How To Maximize Your Most Valuable Resource: Time

Time management

The #1 reason people fail to live with intention is the lack of, or mismanagement of time.  Don’t let this be part of your story.

Today, I share a simple, yet very powerful exercise in understanding where/how you spend your time, where/how you’re wasting time, and how you can create your ideal schedule to live a life of intention.

Exercise from video:

What you’ll need:

Paper and pencil.
Your current calendar.

On a blank piece of paper, write the hours of the day along one side of the sheet and the days of the week across the other.  Depending on your typical schedule, you may write the hours down in one hour, 30 minute, or 15 minute chunks.  Fill in the time slots with the activities, appointments and responsibilities that account for the time in your day.  NOTE: Don’t forget the scrolling through Facebook/Instagram/Pinterest time (no judgment, let’s just make sure you are giving a true representation of where you spend your time.)

Next, you’re going to circle, star, box and X the items on your schedule.

  • Circle all items on your schedule that are non-negotiables based on your values, your season in life, or your survival.  A non-negotiable may be getting up at the crack of dawn to go to work 5 days per week, or packing your kids school lunches, or driving your spouse or elderly parent to their doctor’s appointments.  It may also be exercise or time with your favorite person. 
  • Put a STAR next to all the things in your schedule that bring you joy or fulfillment.  Making breakfast for your loved ones, working out, volunteering, painting, singing in choir, etc.
  • Put a BOX next to all the thing that are important, but you can either give the task to someone else or move it to a later date.
  • Put an X next to the things on your schedule that are time and life suckers!  These are the things you are going to remove, minimize, and/or schedule more tightly in your schedule.

Don’t rush this process.  Take your time so you are sure to include everything that should be on the schedule.  You want to be as realistic as possible.

On another sheet, write down your ideal schedule that supports and aligns with your values and intentions for your life.  This is where you will remove or minimize items that you marked with an X, delegate or move those you marked with a BOX, possibly devote more time to the items you placed a STAR next to, and last but not least, see where you have new chunks of time available to intentionally fill with absolutely nothing and with things that support a healthy, balanced life.    

When you’re done (today or in the next couple days) I’d love to hear how this exercise worked for you.  Did you spot some obnoxious time sucks in your schedule?  Did you realize how little time you were devoting to VERY important things?  Did you feel a sense of relief when you placed an X next to one of the items on your calendar, signifying and making a decision to rid that from your life?  I would love to hear from you.  Let me know in the comments or by emailing me at Jill@JillGottenstrater.com.

Here’s to creating a schedule that honors you and lends itself to an intentional, fulfilling and impactful life!

Jill xx

Click here to join me on Wednesday mornings for my Facebook LIVE video series.

In case you missed it…Click here to read my post on understanding your core values and living them out in real life.

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How Your Core Values Look In Real Life

How intentional living holds hands with core values…

Join me this week on the “Your Intentional Life” video series as we dig even deeper into core values and how they show up in real life situations.  Last week we began to uncover the concept and importance of core values, but this week, we go deep.  I even created a guide/workbook for you!

We will cover:

  • Definition of core values.
  • Why understanding and being able to articulate your core values is so important.
  • How your core values affect all areas of your life, including your personal-life, work-life, family-life, and love-life.
  • And to package it all up with a bow, I created a great guide/workbook for you to download to walk you through the process of really understanding what your core values are and how they inform your life.  This is where the rubber hits the road, friends!  Download this free guide,  complete the simple exercises to help you clarify and declare your values and see how they show up in your day-to-day life.  Do this…you will thank yourself.  : )

Enter your name and email below to receive your free core values guide!




I hope the guide/worksheets help you, like they did for me.  I would love to hear from you.  Did you have an a-ha moment?  Did you discover something about yourself that surprised you?  Maybe you’re finding it hard to narrow it down.  No question or comment is silly…your questions and comments are what help me to understand what sort of information I can provide in the future.

Much love, friends!

Jill xx

P.S. If you have friends, family or co-workers who would benefit from digging deeper into understanding their core values and how they could live more intentionally with this knowledge, share this post.  Sharing is caring. : )

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Core Values: How to Understand and Live Them Out

Understanding and Living Out Your Core Values

Our first week of the “Your Intentional Life” video series is on the books and we talked all about core values and how foundational they are to intentionally living!  If you didn’t catch it on Facebook LIVE earlier this week, I’ve got the video here for you now.

This week we talked about:

  • What Intentional Living and Core Values have to do with one another.
  • The importance of understanding, articulating, and living out our core values.
  • The three categories of people that may find themselves living outside their values–I wonder if you see yourself in one?
  • A simple exercise to figure out what your core values are.

Join me on the video now…

I hope you’ll take a few minutes today to work on your list and define your top 3-5 core values.

Remember to think about these two areas when you’re putting your list together:

  • What words describe what is most important to you?
  • What characteristics define who you want to be?

I mentioned brain-dumping as a resource for you to figure out your core values…here’s the link for that post.

What are your core values?  Do you struggle with living out those values?  If so, how?  Comment or email me…I’d love to hear from you!

Wishing you a wonderful weekend, friends!

Much love,

Jill xx

I hope to see you this coming Wednesday morning as the “Your Intentional Life” video series continues.  Click here to “like” my blog’s Facebook page, so you’ll be notified when I go LIVE each week.

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Intentional Living Series on Facebook LIVE Begins Soon!

Inspiration for intentional living…

I’m just back from a week at the beach and it proved to be the perfect time to think about all the topics I will be discussing in my Intentional Living Facebook LIVE series that starts this coming Wednesday morning.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m on vacation, it’s hard to stick to a normal routine.  I enjoy being more flexible with my schedule, but there’s at least one routine I maintain: “intentional walks” (and since I’m on vacay, the walks are long).  These walks do not include thinking of all the things I need to get done that day, or achieving a certain number of miles.  These walks are a semi-unlimited pocket of time in which I don’t have to get back to anything. It’s a time dedicated to quiet, dreaming, wonder, and gratitude.


Photo: My faithful walking companion.

Four years ago to the week, I was walking on the same beach and I felt a very strong call to begin writing a blog.  I wrote one post that week, but never shared it.  Fear, and that crazy imposter syndrome, I mentioned a few weeks back, crept in and took over.

It took me another 15 months to get the guts up to start the blog you read today, and I can tell you that learning about, and practicing intentional living has been key through it all.

But behind the blog is a life changed due to the small, daily steps of attempting to live as intentionally as I can.  The blog is my way of sharing with others: tools, techniques, and inspiration, so that someone — like you — may read or hear something that guides them toward living their life with more intention, meaning, and joy.

I hope you’ll join me over the next few months for the Your Intentional Life series.  Click here to “like” my blog’s Facebook page, so you’ll be notified when I go LIVE each week.

The series will run from July – September, 2017 and I’ll be covering things like:

  • Defining core values
  • Clarifying life-direction
  • Creating confidence
  • Finding peace through mindfulness
  • Creating systems to limit overwhelm
  • And lots more….

For those of you who aren’t on East Coast time, don’t worry, the replay will be available when you rise and shine.

Can’t wait to see y’all on Wednesday!

Jill xx

 

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5 Steps to Getting The Most Out of Your Word for The Year

We’re a couple months into the new year now and many of us have chosen a single WORD as a declaration for a specific intention and purpose in our lives.  I’ve heard from some of you and your words are: listen, positive, faith, less, love, unite, focus, create, slow.  My word is clarity.  (NOTE: My original word I chose on January 1 was “focus” but three weeks in, I changed it to “clarity”.  I explain the stress my first word was causing me here.

While we may have chosen a word, as the days and weeks forge on, we forget about the word, and all the intention and purpose behind it.

If you do it right, choosing and purposefully living out your word for the year will be life-changing.  Seriously.  Life-changing.

Today, I’m sharing 5 simple steps to help make that happen for you…

Recap from our video:

5 Steps to Success From Your Word for the Year

  • Place your word in prominent places where you will see it often.
    — Type out your word in a huge font, print out and hang in your office, your bathroom, on your fridge, in your day-planner, in your car, etc.
    — Write your word on a sticky note and post around.
    — Make yourself a bookmark with your word on it.
    — If you’re feeling really crafty, paint your word (free-hand or with stencils) on a canvas or on a piece of wood and display in your home.
    — Create a tile mosaic for your garden.  (Wouldn’t it be neat to make a small mosaic each year with your word as a stepping stones in your garden?!)
  • Get intimate with your word by doing a simple word-study.  Google “definition of (your word)”.  Read the definitions and write out the meaning in your own words.  Look at the synonyms.  Look at the antonyms.  Look at the word origin.  This may sound like a lot of work, but it will take you less than 2 minutes if you Google it.  My word for the year is Clarity.  Here is what came up with my Google search:
  • Talk about your word.  Tell your friends, co-workers, and family what your word is.  This gives you a bit of accountability, but also helps others understand your intention for the year, so they can support you in it.
  • Ask others about their words.  This takes the accountability to a new level.  When everyone around you has their own word, it often becomes a point of discussion.  (Share this post with your friends, family, and co-workers, so they can get on the bandwagon, too!)
  • Journal about your word.  (You didn’t think we’d get through this post without me suggesting journaling, did you?) As you’re journaling, check in with yourself as to how your word is showing up or not showing up in your daily life.

I’d love to hear from you!  Leave your answer to these two questions in the comment section below:

  1. What is your word for the year?  Was that your original word, or did you end up changing it, like I did?
  2. How will you display your word to keep it top of mind? Are you a post-it note type, or will you be painting your word on canvas for display?

Here’s to living a life with intention and purpose!

Jill xx

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