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How To Stop Stressing Over Things Beyond Your Control

How much time would you say you spend worrying or stressing over things you have no control over?

You know, worrying about these types of things:

  • How people will perceive you.
  • How people will react to you.
  • The type of upbringing you had, and all the complications that came from it.
  • The illness that may cripple you or your loved ones.
  • A financial disaster that drains your savings account or puts you in major debt.
  • Betrayal of a friend.
  • If your husband decides to cheat on you.
  • Whether your kids will apply themselves in school.
  • The state of the housing and stock markets.
  • The decisions someone else makes.
  • When your loved ones will die.
  • How long you will have a certain job.
  • The weather.
  • Who your children pick as friends.
  • The exact route your life will take.

Yes, it would be nice if we had more control over these things, but the reality is, we don’t.

One thing we do have control over in these situations, is how we react.

I’ve found that there are some simple things each of us can do to help ourselves to be better reactors through the various situations we experience.  It’s the old M.B.S. technique!  Have you heard of it?

M.B.S. = Mind. Body. Soul.

If you focus your attention on developing and maintaining these three areas in your life, I dare say, you are guaranteed to better handle (react to) the things that come your way that you have little to no control over.

Mind. You’ve heard the saying, “Trash in, trash out.”  You have control over what goes in your mind, and in turn, what comes out.  What are you filling your mind with?  Good books?  Inspiring music?  The voices of positive people?  Truth?
Maybe you lean a little more to the side of: Crap TV.  Negative people’s voices. Your own negative voice. Getting stuck in the comparison trap.  Listening to lies.  When posing questions like these, it’s good to think about them from an objective (or outsider’s) perspective if you can.  Sometimes we can be more honest with ourselves this way.  Put yourself in someone else’s shoes and see where you can make some adjustments.

A strong, focused, happy mind will aid you in making good decisions through good and bad times.

Click here to read my article on how to create healthy boundaries with toxic people.

Body.  I am positive I handle stress better when I exercise.  This has been tested, so why is it that I haven’t been regular about getting my walks in?!?  Ugh.  That’s another blog altogether!  Studies show that exercise reduces stress, anxiety, depression, and fatigue.  It fights disease, helps manage pain, and improves your sleep.  It also helps you focus and improves overall mental function.  Just getting up and walking twice a day for 15 minutes will bring about huge benefits.

Just as important as moving your body is what you put in your body.  Remember the saying, “You are what you eat”?  Whenever I hear this, I picture two people walking down the street together, one is basically a greasy cheeseburger with legs and french fry hair, and the other is a carrot with legs, sporting a pair of running shoes.  Since I love greasy cheeseburgers, I take the moderation route with food.  I enjoy my greasy cheeseburger from time to time, but also make sure to pack carrots in my lunch and drink lots of water.  Just remember, if you’re only eating fatty, processed foods, you aren’t loving your body the way you should, and there’s a good chance you’ll experience health setbacks.

Soul.  Do you know the old hymn, It Is Well With My Soul?  Horatio Spafford wrote this popular hymn after several years of great loss:  his two year old son died, he experienced huge personal and business financial losses, and he then lost four daughters in a ship wreck.  He wrote the hymn while traveling by sea near where his daughters had perished.  It nearly seems impossible, doesn’t it?  To come to a place where, after tragedy piled upon tragedy, you can say, “It is well with my soul.”  Horatio drew his strength from his relationship with God.  Is it well with your soul?  Where do you draw your strength from?  We can learn from Horatio that spending time in “soul work” is critical for times when we are smacked with a situation we  have little to no control over.

Friends, if you focus on these three areas — mind, body, and soul — you’ll feel good and be better equipped to handle the difficult situations that come your way.

Here’s to developing and maintaining the good health of your mind, body, and soul.

With love,

Jill xx