It’s Scary What a Smile Can Hide
“It’s scary what a smile can hide.”
I saw this on a young woman’s Facebook page recently. I don’t know her, but I clicked over to see if there was an explanation. Nothing. No comments explaining why she wrote that, no follow up comments, or even questions from friends. Just, “It’s scary what a smile can hide.”
Reading that made my heart sink.
How many people do you and I “engage” with every day that are smiling outwardly, but on the inside it’s a different story?
Pain. Anger. Loss of hope. Resentment. Depression. Sadness. Hate. Abandonment.
All these emotions neatly tucked away behind a smile that doesn’t mirror the heart.
You’ve been there, right?
I’ve been there. Someone asks how my day is and I “cheerfully” reply with a heavy heart and stinging eyes, “Doing good! How about you?”
The response is not meant to be phony or misleading. It’s meant to be a method of preservation, a means of maintaining your privacy, and even consideration for others who don’t need to know every detail of our lives.
In general, we as a society, are taught to hide our emotions, aren’t we? Push through. Toughen up.
The thing is, many of us have loved ones and trusted friends who we can trust (most of) our “stuff” with.
Some don’t.
Where does that leave those who are never “seen” or “heard”?
It leaves them with statements like this: “It’s scary what a smile can hide.”
We are not put on this earth to live self-serving lives focused on indulging our wants and whims.
We are meant for greater things. To love one another. Even those we don’t know.
Remember to: Pay attention to the people who are right in front of you. Pay attention to the people that are important to you. Pay attention to those who have been forgotten or discarded.
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” – Jesus
Here are some deliberate steps you can take to connect with others:
• Acknowledge the person serving you at a restaurant in a very specific way. Compliment them on something they do very well or ask them about what’s going on in their life.
• Tell your child’s teacher that you appreciate their gifts and their sacrifice for your child.
• Say hello to the raggedy-looking person on the street. Ask how their day is and be prepared to really hear their response.
• Sincerely thank the bagger at the grocery store. I’m talking–looking him/her in the eyes and giving thanks.
• Spend some quality time with a friend that has seemed a bit “off” lately.
• Give a child’s voice the respect it is due. Don’t downplay what comes from the mouths of babes.
Are you hiding something behind your smile? I encourage you to reach out to someone you can trust—a family member, a friend, a counselor, or a pastor.
As always, I appreciate your input. Please leave your comments below.
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Jill xx
Amazing article this week Jill. I have been in this situation more times than I can count in my life. Recently it has been more about trying to stay positive and less about trying to cover something up. Although, “keeping up appearances” has become a huge part of our culture and we all fall victim to it everyday. How social media is being used today is only going to make this a bigger issue.
I agree…continue to watch over your loved ones. If you sense something is off simply ask them about it.
Thanks for sharing Mari! Yes, the ‘keeping up appearances’ is dangerous. Appreciate your input!
Great post, Jill! I actually posted a status this week based on the opposite reaction. I smile at someone regularly who just stares through me with no response. I often wonder what may be causing her to behave that way and pray over whatever her “hurts” maybe. I also think that many times we just say “I’m fine. Hope you are.” because people don’t really want or expect us to respond any differently. It then makes them uncomfortable when you don’ offer the pat “doing well” response. I appreciate your heart and suggestions to actually engage with people and truly ask because you care rather than because it the superficial, polite, expected action from us when we encounter others. It might actually change someone’s day for the better. And, it shows Christ’s light through us. Thank you for your genuine text this morning on this tender day for us. <3
Kathy, thank you for sharing your experience. Your recent experience reminds me that sometimes we judge what’s going on behind the blank stare or the smile, but really just don’t know what’s going on. I actually thought about you and all you have been through as I wrote this post. You know a whole lot about smiling through the pain, my friend. xo
This was my favorite of your recent posts. Thanks for reminding us to simply love one another.
Thanks Fab! To love is so very simple, yet so often forgotten. Appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts!