Combat Fear and Shame by Sharing Your Story

Last week I talked about the lessons I’ve learned after recently reading my mom’s autopsy report.  I have received countless messages, mostly private, from people telling me that reading that post really struck a chord with them—many could relate directly to the problem with alcoholism in families, others could relate because they have been or are going through some other sort of trauma in their lives.

Many people told me that by reading my story, it helped them to see their own situation in a different light and encouraged them in a profound way.

This is exactly why I write this blog…to share stories, ideas, and perspectives that will impact and improve our lives—whether it be related to goal setting, overcoming obstacles, finding the extraordinary in the ordinary, or about opening up about a difficult time in your life, like I did with last week’s post.

My goal today is to encourage you to think about sharing your story.

If the idea of sharing scares you, remember that there’s not a “sharing formula” you must follow.  You don’t have to write about it like I did in a blog, you just need to move forward…take the first step.

Maybe you’ll choose to share with a friend or a counselor, confide in a support group, write in a private journal, or maybe you’ll be the one to share your story in a memoir for the whole world to see.

If sharing were always easy, I wouldn’t be writing this post, would I?  Let’s talk about a few of the obstacles we face in sharing our stories and then finish up with some reasons that support the importance of sharing:

REASONS YOU MIGHT CHOOSE NOT TO SHARE YOUR STORY: 

Fear.  You were not created to live in a state of fear.  Fear is like a bully who holds you captive, preventing you from reaching your full potential.  A key to overcoming fear is to name it, so you can deal with it.  Answer this question: Why are you scared to tell your story?  Embarrassment?  Shame?  Being ostracized?  Once you name your fear, you can begin breaking down the reasons for it and addressing how you will overcome it.
Shame.  Dr. Brene Brown has studied shame for many years and offers the following counsel: “Shame cannot survive being spoken and met with empathy.” She gives these three points to combat shame: 1. Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love.  2. Reach out to someone you trust.  3.  Tell your story.
Timing.  Don’t rush things.  What I shared last week took 11 years for me to be able to share to the degree that I did.  There are other chapters in my story that I’m actively working through—parts that I may share in the future, or may not.  It’s important for each of us to use discernment and to allow the right timing to unfold.

REASONS YOU SHOULD SHARE YOUR STORY:

Bring Light to the Darkness.  Have you ever woken in fear from a nightmare and as soon as you switched on the light, you felt better?  It works the same with real-life nightmares.  When we tuck things away in the dark, we allow them to haunt us.  Darkness is fertile ground for breeding fear and shame.
Healing.  Sharing you story can bring tremendous healing, both physically and mentally, to yourself and to others.
Sharing is Caring.  Sharing is both an act of self-care (healing) and altruism.  When you share you have the ability to make a positive impact in someone else’s life.  Don’t be stingy with the blessing you are meant to be. : )

Whether I’m fortunate enough to witness your story sharing or not, I thank you in advance for being courageous.

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here today.  Please share this post with someone you care about.

Have a great day!

Jill xx

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