How Saying No Will Improve Your Life

NOTE: This is the second of a three-part series on the importance of self-care and easy steps to make it happen.  Click here to read part 1.  

Mr. Jobs had a few good thoughts running around in his head, don’t you think?

Let’s read it again…

“It’s only by saying no, that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.”  Steve Jobs

So true, yet many of us still get caught up in saying ‘yes’ to too many things.

How can such a little, tiny word -‘no’- be so difficult for us to utter?

For me it’s usually one of three reasons:

1. I don’t want to let anyone down.
2. I don’t want to miss out.
3. I don’t want to offend anyone.

One has to be careful with this type of reasoning.  It’s not productive and can lead to unnecessary stress and worry.

I’ve found that the best way to combat this type of thinking is to live your best life, try and make thoughtful decisions, and be at peace with the outcomes.

In an effort to be a good steward of both your yes’s and your no’s, I want to encourage you to take a look at the activities and relationships in your life and see where that little two letter word might be needed.

I asked some readers where they needed to work on saying ‘no’ in their lives and combined those answers with some of mine and here’s what we came up with:

JUST SAY NO (thank you) TO…

Internet & TV.  This can be a MAJOR time suck and pull you away from things you should be saying yes to instead!
Constant checking, messaging and posting on your smart phone.  One reader shared that she and her husband had decided to consciously put down their smart phones when they get home in the evening, so they could better enjoy each other and their children.  Emails and Facebook can wait!
Participating in every social engagement announced.  It really is ok to miss out from time to time. : )
Rude people.  Engaging in conversation with someone who is looking to stir up conflict is a losing proposition.  Get rid of people like this in your life.
Volunteer opportunities.  Just because you’re awesome, doesn’t mean you have to tackle every project that comes along.  Think of your ‘no’ as leaving open an opportunity for someone else to give their well-cultivated ‘yes.’
Unwanted advice.  While well meaning, sometimes you just need a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on.  It’s ok to tell someone you’d rather just have them listen instead of giving you advice.
Unfair or uncomfortable situations at work.  Just because you’re getting paid, doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to speak up at your place of work.
Excess of anything.  Moderation is a good thing.
Your children.  Children need to hear the word ‘no’.  It will make them better people.
Church obligations that you perform out of guilt.  Don’t worry, God’s not gonna strike you down! : )
An overly demanding friend or relative.  It’s important to create boundaries in all of our relationships.
Your own excuses.  Just because you’re tired after a long day at work, doesn’t mean you should allow yourself to eat poorly and blow off exercise.

Stephen Covey sums it up well here: “You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically, to say “no” to other things.  And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside.”

Anything you would like to add to the list?

Do you have a burning “yes” just waiting for room to come out and blossom?

NOTE: This is the second of a three-part series on the importance of self-care and easy steps to make it happen.  Click here to read part 1.